When trying to develop traditions for my kids, I never considered the cake I was serving at their birthday parties as part of that tradition. It was a few years ago when Ja deemed pineapple upside down cake his favorite cake. What made pineapple upside down cake his favorite? He had never mentioned it before his birthday party and yet I had made it for him.
I began to think about how I had been serving the same kind of cake for each child's birthday for a while and it had become a tradition. So, whether or not my child would have chosen the cake that I fix at their birthday to be their favorite it had just because I had ben serving that kind of cake for them for a while. It does not take elaborate planning to form a tradition for our children but food is an easy way to make a tradition and it will last with your children for ever.
I began to worry that I was going to mess up and not remember what I had been fixing at my kids birthdays and thought honestly that I wanted them to be able to have a voice in this now traditional birthday cake! I also took note that lil bit and lil man had not had time to form an opinion on this adventure and that I was getting the opportunity to start heir tradition fresh.
Jae of course stuck with what I had been making for years for him, a pineapple upside down cake. Joe has had the exact same cake made for him since he was two, it is my mom's version of a Texas sheet cake. Tae chose an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen (or a marble cake in a pinch .... so glad she was flexible with that one!) For lil bit I started making dark chocolate cupcakes with chocolate chips and whipped white frosting and lil man will start his tradition fresh this year and I have not chosen a cake for him yet. I would love to get a better idea of his likes and dislikes before deeming that one for him.
I purposefully left out Toe because I have been asked what kind of cake was at her party and I thought it was a story worth sharing. To chose for herself what our family calls a dump cake. Toe was introduced to this cake at a time in our lives that God was stretching us in ways we never dreamed possible. In early 2004 we learned that my father in laws cancer was terminal and that he had days to live. We packed up our children and left to be with him for the duration of his life. While there my mother in law suffered a heart attack and was placed in the hospital. We stayed with my father in law at home while visiting his mom. My parents and grandparents eventually kept our kids once my mother in law was released from the hospital and after being with my father in law for 19 days he passed away.
My mother in law still needed much care but the struggle of being away from home with my kids was too much, so I took them back home. The day after I got home I received a phone call that my grandmother, who had just been watching our children for us the week before, was in the hospital and if I wanted to see her again I would need to leave as son as possible. So, on a plane I went to be met by my sweet husband who took me to her side. I slept in her hospital room that night and we enjoyed a beautiful day the next. She was doing wonderful. We began to prepare for her care after the hospital and chose a nursing home to help her with her transition back home. The next morning with my grandfather, her children and three of her grandchildren by her side, she went to be with the Lord. The devastation was unreal as my grandmother had been the world to me. My mother was very young when I was born and my grandmother watched me while she finished school and started her career. For the few times that we lived with my grandparents I would sleep in my grandmas bed with her and she would tell me stories before I would go to sleep. She was usually the first person I talked to in the mornings and the one whose advise I would seek for everything. My world had just been turned upside down but I knew that God was good, I just had no idea how good! (I will share that story with you in another post ...)
So after my grandmother had passed away my children were brought to us and we spent a few more days as a family together at my grandparents home. While we were there my grandpas neighbor brought us over a cake. It was a dump cake. We all were so devastated about my grandmother but the love that came from this woman's food was real to us. She cared and showed her care through baking. Obviously Toe did not forget that love and care and dump cake became her favorite cake. It reminds her of her GG and how she used to call her, "my little french girl," it takes her back to a time when she was forced to grow up just a little quicker than she had hoped to but reminds her of what is so important, family.
I know that you just saw this photo a couple days ago but I thought it was worth repeating :)
So even though I do not feel comfortable sharing the recipe for the dump cake, I can remind you of how important it is to build memories with our kids. Even when we are in a difficult situation we have the opportunity to make a moment last forever. Even when a situation seems unpleasant, we have the opportunity to make it a cherished treasure. Love on your kids, build memories with them and leave a legacy.
